A week ago I had to decide whether I wanted to go the Short Course World Championships. Yes it had been part of my goals for the 2005 triathlon season. But then again so had a Top 10 finish at Nationals, and beating my Olympic Distance PR of 2:35:32. The former was washed out by the rains from the plains, and the latter probably won't happen on any of the upcoming Olympic courses I'm doing this season. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I'll ever see that time again. That time came on a day when everything went just right. As long as I have cranky feet that don't move very fast, I'll never have that just right day. I can live with that.
So of going to Worlds was on my goal list for 2005, why would there be any question of my not going? Maybe it was the idea that I didn't earn it by beating the people I needed to in order to make the team. Maybe it was the fear I wouldn't make the cutoff to count for official Team USA status. Maybe it was knowing that I'd be making this trip by myself without my personal one man cheering section, photographer, sherpa, etc.
But I think that last reason was the most compelling reason for me to go. I need to break free of those fears of a different life that faces me. So what better way deal with the possibility of becoming a single woman again then to go take a trip to a beautiful romantic place alone? I won't be really alone because I'll be there with hundreds of people who share a passion for triathlon. But still it won't be quite the same without him there.
So last week I faxed my Team USA contract, commitment, and entry form to USAT. This week I booked an airfare, and a hotel room. Later today I'll order my uniform. I guess I'm going now. I guess that means I better get my sorry ass out of the house more. My post travel training funk is officially over! Yesterday was a good start. I actually did all three sports.
Today wasn't wonderful. My run sucked, but at least I ran. I'll blame it on the wind, humidity, and yesterday's triple play. Hopefully as I get back into the swing of things, and refocus on my remaining races the running will feel better. Running frustrates me to no end. It's what holds me back from that next level. I look at the other women in my age group who just run so much faster then me. I think about the NYC triathlon where I biked 7 minutes faster, but the winner of the age group ran 8 minutes faster then me. Even though I think the run was short, I still had one of my better runs. So in 5 weeks can I do anything with my running? I guess we'll find out.